


Pet Dragon

by hchollym



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, BOFA Fix-It, Crack, Humor, M/M, Puppy!Smaug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 02:04:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hchollym/pseuds/hchollym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo wakes up Smaug, and the dragon is so surprised that he hits his head on the ceiling. Hard. </p>
<p>When Smaug wakes up again, he starts acting like a puppy, and Bilbo and Thorin become his masters. Crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pet Dragon

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the kink meme prompt:
> 
> It turns out when Bilbo goes and wakes up Smaug, the dragon kind of hits his head. Hard. Really hard. So hard he made a huge hole on the ceiling. The thing is when he wakes up, well...he starts behaving like a lost puppy, a lost Golden Retriver that decides Bilbo is his master. His beloved Master and Bilbo though confused can't help but think how cute Smaug looks so eager to please, shaking his tail, bringing Bilbo things so the hobbit would throw them for them to play.
> 
> You know? Things a Golden Retriver would do.
> 
> +100 Oh, Thorin and the others Heard something and wne they go to help Bilbo the find their Buglar and the dragon playing.
> 
> +1000 Bilbo going all protective of Smaug!Puppy.
> 
> ...
> 
> Yea, I don't even know... but it was fun to write! 
> 
> I just had to include the Finding Nemo and Up! references. I couldn't help it.
> 
> Comments are lovely <3

Bilbo was terrified as he crept slowly down the long, dark tunnel that would lead him directly to the dragon. His heart was hammering in his chest as he tried to focus on taking quiet, calming breaths to steady himself. When he reached the small opening at the end of the tunnel, he cautiously stuck his head out and saw a room covered in so much treasure that it looked like a sea of gold. 

Right in the middle slept the dragon, gigantic with golden-red scales, and wisps of smoke were blowing from his nose as he breathed peacefully. Bilbo swallowed nervously. The dragon began to stir, and Bilbo panicked. Instead of running back through the tunnel like a wiser hobbit would have done, he called out quickly to announce himself in the hopes of winning the dragon’s favor. 

“O Smaug the Stupendous,” he said in flattery. The dragon jumped up, his head hitting the ceiling with a loud bang. The impact was so hard that the entire mountain shook violently as the ceiling crumbled in around them, and a giant hole appeared that let the sun’s rays shine upon the room. Bilbo watched in shock as the dragon collapsed onto the mounds of gold, still and silent once more. 

The hobbit stood there is dismay for several moments trying to process what just happened. He briefly wondered if the dragon was dead, but the rising and falling of the beast’s chest confirmed that he was only unconscious. Bilbo frowned. 

“Well, what in Middle-earth am I supposed to do now? Did I try to steal some of the gold while the dragon is unconscious? Or perhaps I should go back through the tunnel and not push my luck,” he said aloud to himself. 

He slipped off his ring, seeing no need for it at that moment, and took in the sight of the room without the dull and blurry fog that the ring caused. The room was even more breathtaking that way. The gold and gems shined brighter and more stunningly, and the dragon’s scales were an even deeper and richer shade of golden-red than Bilbo originally thought. 

As Bilbo admired the view, the dragon’s blood red eyes shot open. They locked onto Bilbo immediately since he wasn’t wearing his ring, and he froze in terror. The dragon stood, towering over the little hobbit, as gold and gems scattered around him from the movement. 

He bent his head down towards the hobbit until his mouth was so close that Bilbo could feel the heat from his breath. His enormous teeth were like sharp swords, and even though Bilbo’s mind was screaming at him to run, his body seemed locked in place. He closed his eyes, preparing to be eaten or incinerated right then and there.

“Master,” the dragon suddenly cried out. Bilbo’s eyes shot open as he felt the beast’s huge, slimy tongue lick his face and hair. He blinked in confusion. What was going on? Did the dragon really just lick him and call him master? It didn’t make any sense. He wasn’t dead yet though, so that was most decidedly better than how he thought the situation would turn out. He decided to respond politely, proceeding with caution so as to not anger the great dragon. 

“Hello, O Smaug the Tremendous!” The dragon continued smiling in his terrifying way as his eyes seemed to dance with amusement. 

“Hello master. I just met you, but I love you. Can we play fetch, can we, can we?!” He bent his head down to the sea of treasure and picked up a goblet in between his teeth, laying it in front of Bilbo’s feet enthusiastically. Bilbo’s mouth hung open in shock.

This was Smaug the Terrible? He didn’t seem that bad. In fact, he reminded Bilbo of the puppy that his cousins used to have when they were all growing up. Bilbo had loved taking it for walks and playing fetch with it every chance he got. 

He carefully picked up the goblet and flung it across the room. The dragon soared after it, digging through the mounds of gold until he retrieved that specific goblet with his teeth. His eyes shown triumphantly as he brought it back to Bilbo and placed it at the hobbit’s feet once more. Bilbo smiled at his playfulness. 

“Good boy,” he exclaimed out of habit. He froze upon realizing his words, afraid that he may have angered the dragon. The last thing he wanted was for the beast’s good nature to be replaced by murderous rage. 

Instead, the dragon looked back at him proudly. Bilbo felt his shoulders relax, and he threw the goblet again for the dragon to chase after. Smaug was rather sweet and adorable, Bilbo mused. Apparently this was another time that Thorin had never been so wrong in all his life.

When the mountain shook, Thorin and the rest of the company braced themselves against the walls of the tunnel as fear consumed their entire bodies. “Bilbo!” The king cried out in horror as he started running down the tunnel toward the sound with the rest of the company following close behind. 

He was overwhelmed with panic and guilt, and it was making his head dizzy and bile rise in his throat. He should have never sent Bilbo down there. Now the hobbit was hurt or dead, and it was all Thorin’s fault. He blinked away the tears of anguish that were forming in his eyes as he focused on trying to save his lover.

When the company finally reached the end of the tunnel, they looked around wildly for Bilbo. They all froze, weapons mid-air, as their eyes widened in shock at the sight that they were met with. Down below, in a sea of treasure, was Bilbo, sitting on top of the dragon’s stomach and rubbing his belly playfully. Not only that, but the dragon was wagging his tail in response, sweeping gold and gems all around the room in disarray. 

Smaug’s tongue was sticking out as he panted happily, and Bilbo was smiling and laughing. “Who’s a good boy?” He praised as he continued rubbing the gigantic belly that was larger than all of Bag End. The company just stared in a mixture of relief, awe and confusion at the strange scene before him. Bilbo finally noticed the other occupants in the room, and he looked up at them with an eager smile. 

“Thorin! Look, isn’t he sweet? Can I keep him? Please!” His words finally shook Thorin out of his daze, and the king lifted Orcrist in preparation for battle as the other dwarves quickly followed his example. 

“Bilbo, get away from that beast!” He commanded, running towards the two of them to try and save his lover from the terrible dragon. He had no idea what was going on, but Smaug was dangerous, and Thorin would not let him hurt Bilbo. Smaug’s head cowered sadly at the king’s words, looking away and whimpering quietly. Bilbo’s eyes narrowed at the dwarf as Thorin approached them. 

“Thorin Oakenshield, that was a terrible thing for you to say! You will apologize right now!” The king stopped in his tracks and blinked dumbly at his lover’s reaction. Bilbo put his hands on his hips and scowled fiercely at the king. The dragon turned its head dejectedly and looked at Thorin with wide, hopeful eyes. The king frowned, looking back and forth between the two of them. He was so confused. 

Why wasn’t the dragon eating or killing them? Bilbo’s scowl intensified, and Thorin furrowed his brows. Perhaps Bilbo meant that Smaug was less likely to kill them if they were polite. It was worth a shot, and truthfully, he was so happy to see Bilbo alive and unharmed (so far) that he was willing to do anything to placate him. “I’m sorry?” he said hesitantly. 

The dragon’s eyes seemed to light up happily, and he licked Thorin’s face. The king’s eyes widened in shock, and the other dwarves’ mouths hung open in disbelief. Several of them even fainted, but Bilbo paid them no mind as he resumed his belly-rubbing and proclaimed loudly, “I shall call you Smaugy, and you shall be mine!” 

**2 weeks later.**

The elves of Mirkwood and men of Lake-town journeyed to the mountain when it was proclaimed that Thorin Oakenshield had succeeded in reclaiming Erebor. Gandalf arrived with them, and every single jaw dropped at the sight that they were met with. 

Thorin sat on the great throne with Bilbo to his right as Smaug the Terrible slept soundly at their feet. When Thorin announced that Smaug was their pet, murmurs of awe and surprise went through the crowds. That was certainly not what anyone was expecting. 

It was shortly after that a large army of Goblins and wild Wolves appeared on the land below. They had the mountain surrounded, their numbers far greater than the amount of dwarves, elves and men that were inside. 

“Come out and face us, Thorin Oakenshield!” Bolg cried out venomously. Thorin sighed and rubbed his head tiredly, and Bilbo nudged Smaug awoke. The dragon rose, looking devotedly to his masters for instruction. 

“Get ‘em boy,” Bilbo commanded, and Smaug eagerly complied. 

Before the enemy could even contemplate their next move, Smaug burst through the front gates of the mountain and flew ominously over them. They tried to flee in fear and panic, but it was useless. The dragon burned them easily in a sea of fire that surrounded the mountain like a mote before returning to his masters’ sides proudly. 

“Good boy,” Bilbo praised and patted his head while Thorin threw the carcass of a deer to him, which he caught in his mouth and happily munched on. 

The elves and men looked on in wonder and amazement as Bilbo turned to his lover and gave him a sweet kiss. “Now aren’t you glad that you changed your mind about having a pet?”


End file.
